Story Time With SammyB: Time to Stop Saying and Start Doing -- Surprise!! ...

Story Time With SammyB: Time to Stop Saying and Start Doing -- Surprise!! ...: I have been saying I am going to blog for the past year and a half....it's time to stop saying and start doing . So here I am. Taking 1...

Time to Stop Saying and Start Doing -- Surprise!! I'm back :)

I have been saying I am going to blog for the past year and a half....it's time to stop saying and start doing. So here I am. Taking 10 minutes to write a quick blog.

In my defense, life happened. Lol. Since 2012 I have had a tough journey. My grandmother Justa passed, followed by my father. Last year Rex (my adorable and brilliant little yorkie) was diagnosed with Kidney disease (though he's totally hanging in there and is super wonderful and super cuddly!! Thank heavens) I sprained my ankle....twice.....and was in a car accident. Oh yes, and my other country is on the brink of a full civil war. And yes my family is still there. I have also played listener, supporter, friend and loved one to my family and friends who are also dealing with their horrible trials. With what I am sure is divine help, we are all making it!!!!

During all this I said....I want -- scratch that - NEED - a partner. I mean I can completely survive with what I have been blessed with which is an amazing arsenal of brilliant family members and amazing friends. It's just, well, to have someone beside me to which I can be there for and he can be there for me and we can conquer the world together and laugh and cry the whole way.

So I have put myself out there all last year. oh boy has it been a journey and oh boy have I learned a ton about me....and well peeps in general.  And it just keeps on coming.....so time to write about it. Mostly for me. It helps me to let it all out. Plus sometimes my few readers comment and open my eyes. And then there's always the off chance that someone will read my ramblings and be inspired or enlightened.....or at least get a chuckle. And sometimes it's nice to know we're not alone.

So.........I will ramble about my latest conundrum more tomorrow. I really do need my beauty sleep and I still have to work on a script. More doing and not saying.
This blog is the first step in doing. It's motivating me. Here are the things I am doing now:

• Writing the web series I've thought about for a decade (career)
• Prioritizing my career and myself (career and love)
• Working out and eating better and getting into the shape I enjoy being in (career and love)
• Writing my blog again (career and love)
• Dating (love)
• Organizing my home space (career, love and over all mental well being ;) )

I've been saying I need to do this, I need to do that.....well now I'm doing it. If I want something, I gotta go and get it. My prince may come and rescue me, but apparently I must let him know I'm here ;) Mr Spielberg may want me as is next Oscar award winner, he's just having a difficult time finding me. I need to help him out a bit. So now we're doing. I'm going to keep doing in all the directions I feel inspired. Let's see where they lead!!

Next time on Story Time: UGH! What is this new obstacle in my dating path?? Oh it's me. 

I'm Back from Hibernation.....and no that's not a club in Hollywood

So I'm back to blogging. :)
I got caught up with life. A lot of highs and lows and I was able to make up all kind of excuses. :)

This blog isn't going to be very long. I'm very tired and a little worn out.

Here's my latest puzzle.....Why do guys think I'm trying to date them? Here I am trying to be a good friend, just hang out, spend time together no big. They do not desire this. For some reason they can hang out with every other girl on the planet, except me. For some reason I terrify them. Like they're afraid I'm going to have the awkward conversation of "I really like you." I mean really?? Can't they see I'm way to prideful for that?? haha -- but seriously I just want to be friends. Even if I'm attracted to someone, I want to get to know them first. And if the attraction is not reciprocated, I'm completely fine with that. I am more than capable of being a good friend to someone that I am interested in. Hello isn't that how it's supposed to be. I would never want anyone to be with me and not be brilliantly happy. If we can't make each other happy we shouldn't be together.

So here's my puzzle. Why can't boys be friends with me when they can be with other girls?
Now let me say here it's not like I don't have friends that I love and cherish. Of course I do. It's just, there's the part of me that says - who needs them, my life is full. But then there's the part of me that goes - wait a sec what's wrong with me?

I had this extra ticket for this really hot party in Los Angeles. 3 top DJ's, VIP tickets, Open bar, hors, d'oeuvres, great dancing, lots of beautiful people.  I couldn't find a guy to take me. I'm not kidding. Some were actually busy / working / not in town. Others I just kinda got the feeling that they were reading too much into it. Here I am thinking --this is a huge party. People really want these tickets and you don't want to go? what, with me? I'm cute, I'm fun, it's free, what's the problem??

This time I have no answers or theories. Well actually I do....but I think I just have them because they make me feel better. lol.

The end of the story.....I invited a dear girl friend and we had a blast!! But sometimes I just want a boy on my arm. Just a change of pace and energy. You know how it is.

Anyway, I've thought a lot about this. I don't see a reason to change anything....not just yet. If I learn that there's something I'm doing that is making these guys friends feel uncomfortable or awkward, then maybe I would consider altering my behavior. But if it's just them.....well that's on them. Not that that helps, cuz it doesn't. Regardless, I'm still frustrated. And that's what I've got to come to peace with. Tomorrow....I search for that peace.

Confidence and Charisma.....who knew

Soooooooooooooooooooo......

I went to go see a wonderful musical the other day...(GO SEE FELA!!!! It's amazing!!!!) and I happened to meet a handsome radio personality.
Well, I was in my public persona that evening - feeling very confident. I like to play a little game where I get all dressed up and walk in with umph and let people wonder who I am. It's especially fun in L.A. b/c at every turn people are waiting to run into a celebrity and people are always trying to figure out who's who. LOL

Well, I apparently caught his attention. He introduced himself to me, paid me a very sweet compliment and then asked for my card.
Mind you - I first walked up to him and went to briefly compliment him on his voice (very smoothe and delightful to listen to). See, this backs up my theory - girls really do have to make the initial move.

Well, mr. has written me and asked me out. :) I guess our couple of conversations at the theatre were just intriguing enough. :)

I have responded in the affirmative so we'll see what our schedules allow. He is very intelligent and what I like to call "private school." So we'll see. I am sure I will be a little "much" for him, but one never knows, does one.


Meanwhile back at the ranch.....


b/c I am a huge flirt and sometimes don't pay attention to what I'm doing.....I accidentally managed to ask someone out. LOL - Yet another little theory.....If I do not have nerves or pressure - HE will not feel nerves or pressure. I don't make a big deal out of anything, HE won't think it's a big deal.....and hey if it turns into something - fabulous!

NOW – just b/c I have spoken about these other two boys, please do not think for a second that I am not still completely smitten with….we need a nickname….we’ll just call him JB. (As I chuckle to myself at my cleverness).

However, I have been given no reason to take myself off the market. :) Besides, this is not a blog of pining.

So here’s my input on this scenario:

My opinion: I just asked to go to lunch. There's no way that it could be taken as anything but casual. It was late in the day, we were chatting, I was starving and said I needed to go get something to eat would he like to come. He couldn't. My mind - done....no big deal.....he then follows up with wanting a rain check. Still casual, but we see /talk to each other almost daily.....why would we need to have a raincheck?? Ah-ha - right??
My theory: Boys are a little nervous to make the first approach if they aren't sure. They need a little nudging. I nudged and he responded. Now, he may feel more comfortable about making a forward move and I didn't have to really ask him out. Let's see.

It's all in the eyes

So I think it went well.....it didn't start out well, but it ended nicely. :)

It started out in a group setting with an interesting conversation that led me to believe there was no hope that he would ever have interest....but I work better one on one. Got my one on one time (at his doing!)....an hour later the spark of hope is ignited again. He may not realize it yet, but he's gonna fall for me ;)

BTW, ladies - it's all in the EYES!! Boys love eyes. Heck so do I for that matter. (I get encompassed in his) Anyway, I received a very sweet compliment and within the compliment there was something mentioned about my eyes. - Remember in the last post I said I was going to make them pop. Well, I guess it worked!! A little light shadow with some purple and brown shading....clinique thickening mascara and BOOM. ;)

That and what comes out of them is light and love. I think that is so important. We communicate through our eyes - they are the windows to our soul. I think there is a lot to be said there. :) If we are thinking warm and positive things, people can feel that when we are looking at them. If we are really listening to what they are saying and caring about what they are saying, they can feel that through our energy and eyes.Even if they don't realize that's what is happening.

So yay!!

Have I mentioned I'm smitten?? hehehehehehehehehehehehehe It's fun. Even if nothing comes of it - I'm having a good time.

I'm Usually Such a Great Flirt

My heart is racing, my blood is warming as I'm staring into the beautiful, sparkly eyes of the boy with the charming smile that turns me to butter. I'm admiring how he radiates and his sweet thoughtfulness makes him even more beautiful. I'm completely smitten. He makes a joke and smiles, there's a twinkle in his eyes I am now puddy and thinking, my heavens he's got to be the sexiest being alive. 

He then says "Do you see anyone in the party that you think is good looking?" My response: "uh....uh...."

I used to be so witty and quick and an expert flirt. Well for that matter, I still am if I do say so myself. Even that night with someone else, I had the perfect response. But why is it when I get with in 5 feet of this certain person my brain ceases functioning. Strike that - it functions....AGAINST ME!! lol

Obviously it is because with this one, there are actual feelings. With him, if I'm rejected it will actually hurt. Normally I'm like oh....ok....next crush. But with him.....well....
But in theory it shouldn't matter. It's not like I haven't had my heart broken before - and by someone I'm actually dating not just crushing on. In theory I should nip it in the bud, get it over with and find out if he's interested.
So.......I've been practicing my flirting. LOL yes you heard me correctly. I have been practicing the "looking up through the lashes" clever responses to scenarios, not inviting the entire room when he suggests that we do something. (Yes, I did that. I know I know. I told you before that my brain works against me.)

So I would love any opinions, stories, or what nots of similar situations you have been in. PLEASE any advice is greatly appreciated. Surely I can't be the only one that's ever been here.

In fact....I was just speaking to one of my new favorite couples in the world. They were sharing their story of how they met, dated, and got engaged and how many times they stepped in their own way. I figure if they can do it and get threw it, surely I can....right? One thing I've learned from them is that there is no formula for this thing called love and dating. There's no "if he does this it means - " or "if you do this - , he'll think that - "
Honestly, this is most comforting to me!! It is....b/c then even though I've messed up twice and completely made it seem like I just want to be friends....there's still time!! And even though I really don't believe for a second that he's interested - there's a little part of me that's filled with hope!!

Here's the thing....I don't need a ring, or even a relationship. I'm the slowest of movers when it comes to this.  And I can be super patient. I know he's got some stuff going on and what not. I am super empathetic. Let's just see if I can get a little flirting returned and maybe a date. :)

I know we talked about this last time....whether or not I should ask the boy out. Well.....I've gotten mixed responses and frankly I don't know if my mouth can form the words. haha So we're gonna back up a sec and I'm going to try to just flirt a little....you know, what I'm good at. Then maybe I can gauge his reaction and see if there's something there.

So.....here's the plan.....I'm going to continue practicing my flirting. I'm still going to remember that we are friends first and foremost and understand that I will recover if he's not on board....I always do....this is not my first time to the rodeo. I am going to do a simple make up that really pops my eyes and a pouty lip (I never said I was going to play fair)....dab on my liquid love (again with the fair hehe), then I'm going to give myself a pep talk just before I go to hang out. And last - I'm going to let it all go and just be me. And pray my brain decides to come too!!

To Ask or Not to Ask....

So on my last blog a thousand years ago, I received advice from 3 people at random that all whistled the same tune. They suggested that the guys may be a little intimidated and/or dense and that I should turn the heat up a little and either ask them out directly or in a roundabout fashion. ie: Oh I really want to see <insert movie> or oh! I've really been wanting to try <insert restaurant>

Well, I have some theatrical events coming up that would make a great date I think....so here's the rub....Do I ask one of these guy friends of mine to go with me? And is that too forward? Will they lose interest (assuming they have interest) because the thrill of the chase is gone? Or might it increase the chase a bit b/c it's not a done deal just because I've offered the time and place. You know, like a little taste but not the whole platter. Or on the other hand, will they think of it more as a friend thing -- like they're bailing me out of having to go alone or something. I guess ultimately it will depend on how I behave once we're out, right? (assuming he says yes).

Ok. I'm going to do it. Why not right?? In fact didn't I say when I started this blog I'm putting these things to a test??!! So let's do some research!! In the name of science I am asking the cute boy from 4th period out on a date!!!! I'll let  you know how it goes :)

(BTW, for those of you keeping score there are actually a few boys that hold my interest, I'm just lumping them into one right now as nothing has moved forward with any.....I will say though, there's one I'm crushin' on pretty bad.....I'm gonna have to blog about that scenario next. Don't you love the web of life??!!)