Confidence and Charisma.....who knew

Soooooooooooooooooooo......

I went to go see a wonderful musical the other day...(GO SEE FELA!!!! It's amazing!!!!) and I happened to meet a handsome radio personality.
Well, I was in my public persona that evening - feeling very confident. I like to play a little game where I get all dressed up and walk in with umph and let people wonder who I am. It's especially fun in L.A. b/c at every turn people are waiting to run into a celebrity and people are always trying to figure out who's who. LOL

Well, I apparently caught his attention. He introduced himself to me, paid me a very sweet compliment and then asked for my card.
Mind you - I first walked up to him and went to briefly compliment him on his voice (very smoothe and delightful to listen to). See, this backs up my theory - girls really do have to make the initial move.

Well, mr. has written me and asked me out. :) I guess our couple of conversations at the theatre were just intriguing enough. :)

I have responded in the affirmative so we'll see what our schedules allow. He is very intelligent and what I like to call "private school." So we'll see. I am sure I will be a little "much" for him, but one never knows, does one.


Meanwhile back at the ranch.....


b/c I am a huge flirt and sometimes don't pay attention to what I'm doing.....I accidentally managed to ask someone out. LOL - Yet another little theory.....If I do not have nerves or pressure - HE will not feel nerves or pressure. I don't make a big deal out of anything, HE won't think it's a big deal.....and hey if it turns into something - fabulous!

NOW – just b/c I have spoken about these other two boys, please do not think for a second that I am not still completely smitten with….we need a nickname….we’ll just call him JB. (As I chuckle to myself at my cleverness).

However, I have been given no reason to take myself off the market. :) Besides, this is not a blog of pining.

So here’s my input on this scenario:

My opinion: I just asked to go to lunch. There's no way that it could be taken as anything but casual. It was late in the day, we were chatting, I was starving and said I needed to go get something to eat would he like to come. He couldn't. My mind - done....no big deal.....he then follows up with wanting a rain check. Still casual, but we see /talk to each other almost daily.....why would we need to have a raincheck?? Ah-ha - right??
My theory: Boys are a little nervous to make the first approach if they aren't sure. They need a little nudging. I nudged and he responded. Now, he may feel more comfortable about making a forward move and I didn't have to really ask him out. Let's see.

It's all in the eyes

So I think it went well.....it didn't start out well, but it ended nicely. :)

It started out in a group setting with an interesting conversation that led me to believe there was no hope that he would ever have interest....but I work better one on one. Got my one on one time (at his doing!)....an hour later the spark of hope is ignited again. He may not realize it yet, but he's gonna fall for me ;)

BTW, ladies - it's all in the EYES!! Boys love eyes. Heck so do I for that matter. (I get encompassed in his) Anyway, I received a very sweet compliment and within the compliment there was something mentioned about my eyes. - Remember in the last post I said I was going to make them pop. Well, I guess it worked!! A little light shadow with some purple and brown shading....clinique thickening mascara and BOOM. ;)

That and what comes out of them is light and love. I think that is so important. We communicate through our eyes - they are the windows to our soul. I think there is a lot to be said there. :) If we are thinking warm and positive things, people can feel that when we are looking at them. If we are really listening to what they are saying and caring about what they are saying, they can feel that through our energy and eyes.Even if they don't realize that's what is happening.

So yay!!

Have I mentioned I'm smitten?? hehehehehehehehehehehehehe It's fun. Even if nothing comes of it - I'm having a good time.

I'm Usually Such a Great Flirt

My heart is racing, my blood is warming as I'm staring into the beautiful, sparkly eyes of the boy with the charming smile that turns me to butter. I'm admiring how he radiates and his sweet thoughtfulness makes him even more beautiful. I'm completely smitten. He makes a joke and smiles, there's a twinkle in his eyes I am now puddy and thinking, my heavens he's got to be the sexiest being alive. 

He then says "Do you see anyone in the party that you think is good looking?" My response: "uh....uh...."

I used to be so witty and quick and an expert flirt. Well for that matter, I still am if I do say so myself. Even that night with someone else, I had the perfect response. But why is it when I get with in 5 feet of this certain person my brain ceases functioning. Strike that - it functions....AGAINST ME!! lol

Obviously it is because with this one, there are actual feelings. With him, if I'm rejected it will actually hurt. Normally I'm like oh....ok....next crush. But with him.....well....
But in theory it shouldn't matter. It's not like I haven't had my heart broken before - and by someone I'm actually dating not just crushing on. In theory I should nip it in the bud, get it over with and find out if he's interested.
So.......I've been practicing my flirting. LOL yes you heard me correctly. I have been practicing the "looking up through the lashes" clever responses to scenarios, not inviting the entire room when he suggests that we do something. (Yes, I did that. I know I know. I told you before that my brain works against me.)

So I would love any opinions, stories, or what nots of similar situations you have been in. PLEASE any advice is greatly appreciated. Surely I can't be the only one that's ever been here.

In fact....I was just speaking to one of my new favorite couples in the world. They were sharing their story of how they met, dated, and got engaged and how many times they stepped in their own way. I figure if they can do it and get threw it, surely I can....right? One thing I've learned from them is that there is no formula for this thing called love and dating. There's no "if he does this it means - " or "if you do this - , he'll think that - "
Honestly, this is most comforting to me!! It is....b/c then even though I've messed up twice and completely made it seem like I just want to be friends....there's still time!! And even though I really don't believe for a second that he's interested - there's a little part of me that's filled with hope!!

Here's the thing....I don't need a ring, or even a relationship. I'm the slowest of movers when it comes to this.  And I can be super patient. I know he's got some stuff going on and what not. I am super empathetic. Let's just see if I can get a little flirting returned and maybe a date. :)

I know we talked about this last time....whether or not I should ask the boy out. Well.....I've gotten mixed responses and frankly I don't know if my mouth can form the words. haha So we're gonna back up a sec and I'm going to try to just flirt a little....you know, what I'm good at. Then maybe I can gauge his reaction and see if there's something there.

So.....here's the plan.....I'm going to continue practicing my flirting. I'm still going to remember that we are friends first and foremost and understand that I will recover if he's not on board....I always do....this is not my first time to the rodeo. I am going to do a simple make up that really pops my eyes and a pouty lip (I never said I was going to play fair)....dab on my liquid love (again with the fair hehe), then I'm going to give myself a pep talk just before I go to hang out. And last - I'm going to let it all go and just be me. And pray my brain decides to come too!!

To Ask or Not to Ask....

So on my last blog a thousand years ago, I received advice from 3 people at random that all whistled the same tune. They suggested that the guys may be a little intimidated and/or dense and that I should turn the heat up a little and either ask them out directly or in a roundabout fashion. ie: Oh I really want to see <insert movie> or oh! I've really been wanting to try <insert restaurant>

Well, I have some theatrical events coming up that would make a great date I think....so here's the rub....Do I ask one of these guy friends of mine to go with me? And is that too forward? Will they lose interest (assuming they have interest) because the thrill of the chase is gone? Or might it increase the chase a bit b/c it's not a done deal just because I've offered the time and place. You know, like a little taste but not the whole platter. Or on the other hand, will they think of it more as a friend thing -- like they're bailing me out of having to go alone or something. I guess ultimately it will depend on how I behave once we're out, right? (assuming he says yes).

Ok. I'm going to do it. Why not right?? In fact didn't I say when I started this blog I'm putting these things to a test??!! So let's do some research!! In the name of science I am asking the cute boy from 4th period out on a date!!!! I'll let  you know how it goes :)

(BTW, for those of you keeping score there are actually a few boys that hold my interest, I'm just lumping them into one right now as nothing has moved forward with any.....I will say though, there's one I'm crushin' on pretty bad.....I'm gonna have to blog about that scenario next. Don't you love the web of life??!!)

Flirting Flirting or Friendly Flirting

So these posts are going to be a little out of order. I just have this question that I need help with so it's going first. I have a list of things to blog about, but as you know there's this thing that keeps getting in the way -- life!

So here's my question: How do I know when he's flirting flirting or just friendly flirting?

What's the difference you ask? Well.....I have a lot of friends who are just big flirts....ok ok myself included. We'll say all these little flirty complimentary things to make someone feel good, to smile, to flirt back, cuz it's fun - You know just silly little flirty things that are not necessarily intended to be romantic. (Though some little flirtations have surprised me and turned into 3yr relationships.)

Then there's the heavy duty flirty - the looking up through the eye lashes, the pouty lip etc etc (don't wanna give away all my tricks hehe - that will be another post lol) These are the get over here and kiss me flirts.

Now - guys and girls tend to be very different flirts. I can read a girl pretty easy and know if she's seriously interested / could go either way / just having fun but don't ask her out. This helps my guy friends a lot when they don't have a clue how they should proceed.


But with guys!! I'm clueless I'm afraid. I've been told that guys are a little more straight forward and will just ask out - this is not true at all in my case.....with the 3yr exception - the guys that have asked me out have required a huge sign on my part - some even needed it to be in neon!!

Well I don't wanna turn it on if the guy isn't interested - helllloooo awkward. And even though I can get over it fast and move on, they usually think that I am desperately in love with them and am pining by the phone for hours on end. PA-LEASE!! Yeah I may FB stalk you, but that's just for fun and to make me feel better when you're not dating anyone as cute as I. ;) (please know I'm kidding about the cute comparison - mostly ;) hehe)

Anyway.....how do I know when to turn up the heat??
Example - there is a friend of mine that I see regularly. We don't really hang out but we see each other in a social arena. He is definitely A-group. And you know how shy I get around A-group. Well, he keeps making little jokes about me not dating him. And he always asks if I'm seeing someone. (He's totally gonna know I'm talking about him if he reads this LOL - oh well - what can you do? - oh yeah not write. hmmmm) He's pretty "cool" in his personality so it's hard to tell if he's testing the waters or if he's just flattering me. Either way is completely fine for me. I enjoy the flattery and I wouldn't be opposed to going out should he ask.
So do I turn up the heat anyway just a little and see what he does?.....or is it a pretty safe bet that there's nothing really there on his end?

As I'm writing this I'm thinking back on my past "relationships" / "whatever you callems" and realized that in fact what I've done in the past to get things rolling is to turn up the heat a bit and see if something simmers. This was always because they seemed to respond well to my friendly flirting. The trick/problem is I don't want to scare the boy away if he's not interested cuz I'm cool with being just friends. In fact I'm a slow mover when it comes to romance. I just know how "freaked out" boys can get. So how do I know if he's looking for a sign from me?

So my theory - small degrees - test the water and if he seems comfy up it a little, if he responds in kind, add a little more.....and if he doesn't seem comfy - the next time I see him keep it WWWAAAYYY casual and brief.

What do you all think?
My friends have always said I'm clueless when a guy is interested. I really never think they are and it usually surprises me.
I've also been told I'm a little intimidating to ask out - which is why they need the SIGN with flashing lights.

Well I am willing to take on some of the responsibility. I just need to know.
Next time we'll talk about the intimidation factor - today let's just figure out if he's even interested. :)

The Cub, the Wolf and the Swan

So funny story - On Saturday night I got all dressed up in my Halloween costume and went to my brother's concert. (He's on tour with Jason Webley) I figured I probably wasn't going to meet anyone at a concert b/c we're just there to listen to music and watch the band and talk with friends - wait that's like clubbing - why did I think I wouldn't meet anyone??
Not only that - my brother is IN the band!! HELLOOOOO!! Of course I'm trying very hard to not fall in love with another musician. I have a bias. I know I know.....and if it happens it happens - I remain open to all opportunities - and truth be told everyone I fall for anyway is a musician even if they've chosen a different career path. Let's face it - I am musically driven - I am a musician - I speak the language and vibrate on harmonies that tend to be in tune with other like harmonies - Most likely the person I match with will have this quality and talent. Fine.

Anyway, it was good I wasn't going with any kind of agenda because I went with confidence!! I didn't really care if I was thin enough or cute enough or whatever enough....I just knew I had a fun costume and my make-up turned out well and I wanted ot show it off. People loved it!! There was another Black Swan there as well and I felt a kind of bond. Easiest costume I've done in a long time!! I had everything at home already!! I learned that things do not have to be exact just a representation and that is widely accepted. :)

Well we had a blast dancing the night away!! - I think b/c I was in costume I didn't care what I looked like when I danced - no wait....I think I'm like that anyway. LOL But the costume did help - and I got to wear flats!!!!

So....after the concert, after we loaded the van, after I met the darling, handsome, charismatic band mates of my bro's - I met these two girls  who were waiting for their ride. I'm not sure their exact age, but they seemed maybe Seniors in high school or just graduated. Well I wasn't about to leave them on the streets of Hollywood by themselves at 2:30 in the morning.....so I stayed and chatted with them. And good thing I did....The Wolf approached. I had seen him when we were loading the van - he had complimented my costume and eyed me. I thanked him but kept working. He left. Then he returned again when I was talking to the girls. He got to the corner hung for a bit and then walked back to make his 3rd approach. Now I'm sure he is a super nice guy in real life....but 3 girls waiting for a ride alone @ 2:30am - naturally we were a little nervous with him. I tried to play it off and speak very strong and confident to aleviate the fear I saw in the eyes of the girls. I also got the pepper spray out of my purse and tucked it into my costume. My protective mother instincts immediately kicked in and I wasn't going to let anything happen to these girls!! He spoke to us for quite awhile as one of the girls kept trying to help her friend find us. I could tell by his questions and his comments he was definitely trying to make a connection. My only consolation was that his energy seemed to be directed towards me and he was leaving my little chickies alone. There was just something off with him and I definitely felt like prey....how appropriate that I was dressed as a bird. :)
Well, her friends were getting a little frustrated and lost but they were pretty close....I suggested that I drive the girls to the parking lot where they were waiting. My new friends were all too anxious to get off of the street and away from our predator....we said our goodbyes and hopped in the car. As soon as we were out of earshot the girls start in with their concerns and how they felt around the wolf - it wasn't just me. Phew. Smart girls :)

Well, as we were driving to the meeting spot....the friend of the girl was really nervous that they had hopped in the car with me. GOOD FRIEND!! In this world one can never be too careful.....Well we pulled up right next to them. What I see is this young kid - looked about their same age - really adorable leaning against his car - total "Jake Ryan" in "Pretty in Pink" but looking a little on edge. I of course roll down my window to let him know that the girls were completely safe and sorry to worry him. He comes to my window and we start talking about the situation and I'm looking up directions to get them home (they didn't live in L.A. - hence the getting lost) - next thing I know this adorable little cub says I'm much more beautiful then the "chick" in the movie and asks me out!!!! Yes you heard me right!! I tried not to laugh - fragile egos and all - and sure another age ago absolutely I would've gone, but seriously??!! So I told him - Honey I'm probably a little older than you think I am - His response what 25? I smiled knowingly - "what? older? 28? - I said you're sweet, disappointment in his face, then he says - I'm ok with it! - Oh precious. I smiled and gave the directions to them....then he asked one more time - Points for persistence in a non annoying and actually very smoothe way!! What's funny is the friend girl I had just met said - he'll be 20 soon!! LOL - just precious.
said something like - "oh honey you are adorable - but I'm not right for you. Though you did make my whole night!! I love being flirted with by cute boys. ;)" And of course giving him my flirty smile. So they got in their car with a wave and he sent me off with a <3 gesture. What a cutie. And I winked and smiled and drove away.....wondering this drive home - Why oh why do I only get the wolves and cubs??!! I'm not complaining - the cubs are SUPER flattering and I love it - but can we maybe add some with a few more years? I at least want to be able to take him into the club with me. LOL