Out and About.....

This is the outfit I wore to Trivia.....I think it's darling. It was a little chilly and I knew I would need something over my shoulders. I still wanted to be really feminine looking so I kept the little dress and threw on a classy blazer. A chunky beaded necklace and a big ring. I of course had to wear my sexy knee high boots. Again also helped keep out the chill. The hair was super easy - I just twisted it up and clipped it with a little pointy clip....It's my favorite!! Really holds the hair!! I chose up b/c it looks better with a blazer. I kept my make up simple. So my outfit says - she knows how to put herself together and the makeup and hair said - but she's not high maintenance and probably "real."

K onto the night!! - Well first lesson when meeting guys....must make myself approachable. Did not do this at Trivia. I sat with my girls and didn't really look around at all. Definitely gave the vibe that I was just there with my girls and didn't care about anything else. THOUGH - we did sit by the trivia host and we charmed him to no end and that was fun. He is great and very funny! I think I got too into trivia. hmmmm May not be the best place for me to meet someone.

Next night - YOGA!! This I think could be a great place to meet someone!! So many beautiful people - my word....I am going to have to get over my awe when I see some of these chiseled pieces of art. I almost stepped on somebody, ran into a wall, and knocked over a water bottle. Don't worry I was very subtle - (she says as she slowly shakes her head "no") I was completely self conscious as I am still working on my outer form. So I put those beauties out of my mind and concentrated on not falling and taking out the people on either side of me. YOGA class was fabulous!! I think the trick there would be spotting the single guy and carefully positioning my mat next to his. Then find some way to strike up conversation. That should be easy - there are great things to bring up - hello yoga!! - Hmmm - before I try this route I think I need a few more lessons. I don't want to look completely deficient in front of him. :) Till then I'll stay in my little corner. :)

Tonight - Halloween festivities at the church building!! THIS WAS GREAT!! There was a big club like setting. Glowing cubes, great DJ, flashy lighting. A haunted house!! - and yes I went through with a cute boy that I hung to for dear life....I'm fairly certain he did not mind too bad. He stayed pretty close. ;) Then as we walked out of the haunted house and into the "club" a member of the "A" group pulled me over to dance. That was fun. He's wicked cute. I was pretty confident with him today which I am normally not....and he responded favorably!! Lesson: guys like CONFIDENCE. Ok got it!!

Also today at work during our Halloween party I met a darling guy who is new. Very charming. German - very nice voice and sexy accent. We were both standing out by the fruit table just kind of buying time when I said - "SAM - just go meet him!!" I had seen him before and wanted to talk to him but never did. This was the perfect opportunity. I had to seize it!! So I did!! I remembered I had an in, I used it, introduced myself and we spoke for at least 30-45 minutes....which is a lot when you're taking a 10 minute break from work to eat a cupcake. I loved the parts in the conversation when it would start to lull - neither one of us would go anywhere and we'd find something to talk about - I thought - he wants to be here talking to me more!! This is good!! And then before I could get boring, I excused myself to go finish work. Again with the confidence!!

This week's lesson - confidence is attractive!!

So tomorrow's agenda is a concert in Hollywood and bars in Venice. Two places filled with stories for sure!!
My costume? - Black Swan!! hehe Simple costume and fun make up!! Love it!!

P.S. My first work crush walked by and saw me talking to the new kid....I saw him take notice. hehe hehe
P.P.S. Don't worry I'm not reading too much into anything....just making observations and seeing what if anything comes from them.

JUST DO IT

So my roommate said to me yesterday - "Sam, stop talking about it and just do it."
He's right - and that's so my personality.....so why do I sometimes just do and sometimes just plan??

I think it's fear and a feeling of inadequacy....but how am I going to grow if I don't try, right?
So I am taking the bull by the horns in my life and starting a lot of doing....beginning with this blog. :)

It has been requested that I blog about fashion / hair / make up tips....I absolutely will!! However, for me I also need a little vent for life stuff....mostly boy stuff. As in all areas I write about - I would GREATLY appreciate any advice, opinions, words of encouragement, tips, words of encouragement and love.

At first I wasn't going to include boys in this blog b/c I was worried about the ones I talk about reading this. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Who was I kidding?? What guy that I'm interested in / dating / have dated / whatever is going to read this?? I mean lets be honest. LOL I'm lucky if I get my few best friends to read it. haha
So now with that worry safely put to rest....let's begin..... :)

Here's where I stand in my life right now. I am completely single with nothing on the horizon. First time in my life with nothing on the horizon....I don't like it.

The first grown up love of my life was recently married. I'm actually happy about that. I love her. She's beautiful and smart and talented and spiritual and wonderful!! I am extremely happy for the them both and I completely get it.

The second big grown up love is recently engaged. (I found out about these two momentous occasions with in a couple weeks of each other. sigh) - though I technically do not know this b/c he hasn't told me in our numerous discussions since the big event. I am going to make him tell me b/c I refuse to let FB be the appropriate venue for our communicating life changing events!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *breathe

While I was finding out about all of this.....my little crush which I was hoping would turn into eternal bliss - came back with a girlfriend - UGH!!

AND - yes there's an AND - it's me we're talking about.....my recent distraction decided to end things with me and grab himself a girlfriend. And the unfortunate part about this is that he was meant ONLY to be a distraction -- a little gem to keep me preoccupied while I dealt with 1 and 2 -- yet I can't shake him. He is occupying way too much of my thoughts and I actually miss him. WEIRD - I don't like it. I've done all kinds of things to distract me from him. I have tried to date other people....I've reminded myself daily -- multiple times a day -- why we are not compatible on the long term. I try and focus on his new found happiness and assume it will last into eternal bliss. NOTHING IS WORKING. It is very irritating b/c I always have way more control than this. The good thing is that I am managing to maintain a friendship and I'm pretty sure that he has no clue that he's the bee in my bonnet. {Phew}

So......as a result of the above failed loves and in an attempt to rid my mind of the "distraction" I am going to put some dating theories to the test.

1 - I believe that men actually do want a girl that's a little more high maintenance. - Boys need to feel needed. The feeling that the girl needs something and they are the only one that can get it b/c she can't for herself. This is going to be very difficult for me as I am so independent....but we're going to try. Not to be needy cuz that's just unnecessary, but allowing guys to do for me. Cuz in reality I do need it. I'm more than capable of providing for myself - but it feels so much better to have my man watching out for me and taking care of me. (It's this that I found with the "distraction" that I am missing. He was really good at it. and I miss it.)

2 - Boys like the b****. I think it's true. They like a girl to be a little bossy. - NOW - I don't mean a real b()&*& - I just mean a little assertive. They like the sweet take care of me side too - of course - but they need a little of the bossy - you know the "mom" if you will.


I have more theories but this is too long....so we'll wait.....

NOTE!! In my theories - these are NOT extremes - these are aspects that balance each other out.

All of my theories are aspects of my personality....but I try not to show them or be them for various reasons that will come out in the blog.....I am saying this b/c I believe STRONGLY in being HONEST!! I learned the hard way that it is not wise to "be" something for someone that you are not actually. Even if it is a part - they still need to see the whole. So I just need to find and show these aspects of my personality and find the balance that keeps the boy. Well that's the theory. I AM NOT CHANGING MY PERSONALITY!! Please don't get nervous....I will still be me. I think all of this will become more clear as I start getting specific. And if I try something out and realize I just don't like it and it's not really me....then I'll have learned something!! :)

To try out my theories, I am going to observe the men that have been in my life recently and how they are in their new relationships....how the girls are....and how we were. Also, I am going to find someone new and test out what I've learned. EVERY man is different as is every female....so these are all generalities....but I am finding that there are some threads that are common. And also there's my grand theory - which I will save for much later.....so we'll see if this proves my wrong. :)

I will report back on how things are going on my blog. I hope to get some input from peeps b/c clearly I am not very talented in the relationship department. :)

First item of business - Find a boy!! This should be entertaining. LOL Tonight is trivia. I will start looking tonight and tell you what I find. :)

P.S. Please resist the temptation to pre-judge. I am sure all of you have concerns, advice, complaints and fears about what I'm proposing....but remember - I am NOT an idiot. I am going into this with an open mind and I would like to keep it that way. Let's just see what happens shall we....And comment as we go. :)