JUST DO IT

So my roommate said to me yesterday - "Sam, stop talking about it and just do it."
He's right - and that's so my personality.....so why do I sometimes just do and sometimes just plan??

I think it's fear and a feeling of inadequacy....but how am I going to grow if I don't try, right?
So I am taking the bull by the horns in my life and starting a lot of doing....beginning with this blog. :)

It has been requested that I blog about fashion / hair / make up tips....I absolutely will!! However, for me I also need a little vent for life stuff....mostly boy stuff. As in all areas I write about - I would GREATLY appreciate any advice, opinions, words of encouragement, tips, words of encouragement and love.

At first I wasn't going to include boys in this blog b/c I was worried about the ones I talk about reading this. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Who was I kidding?? What guy that I'm interested in / dating / have dated / whatever is going to read this?? I mean lets be honest. LOL I'm lucky if I get my few best friends to read it. haha
So now with that worry safely put to rest....let's begin..... :)

Here's where I stand in my life right now. I am completely single with nothing on the horizon. First time in my life with nothing on the horizon....I don't like it.

The first grown up love of my life was recently married. I'm actually happy about that. I love her. She's beautiful and smart and talented and spiritual and wonderful!! I am extremely happy for the them both and I completely get it.

The second big grown up love is recently engaged. (I found out about these two momentous occasions with in a couple weeks of each other. sigh) - though I technically do not know this b/c he hasn't told me in our numerous discussions since the big event. I am going to make him tell me b/c I refuse to let FB be the appropriate venue for our communicating life changing events!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *breathe

While I was finding out about all of this.....my little crush which I was hoping would turn into eternal bliss - came back with a girlfriend - UGH!!

AND - yes there's an AND - it's me we're talking about.....my recent distraction decided to end things with me and grab himself a girlfriend. And the unfortunate part about this is that he was meant ONLY to be a distraction -- a little gem to keep me preoccupied while I dealt with 1 and 2 -- yet I can't shake him. He is occupying way too much of my thoughts and I actually miss him. WEIRD - I don't like it. I've done all kinds of things to distract me from him. I have tried to date other people....I've reminded myself daily -- multiple times a day -- why we are not compatible on the long term. I try and focus on his new found happiness and assume it will last into eternal bliss. NOTHING IS WORKING. It is very irritating b/c I always have way more control than this. The good thing is that I am managing to maintain a friendship and I'm pretty sure that he has no clue that he's the bee in my bonnet. {Phew}

So......as a result of the above failed loves and in an attempt to rid my mind of the "distraction" I am going to put some dating theories to the test.

1 - I believe that men actually do want a girl that's a little more high maintenance. - Boys need to feel needed. The feeling that the girl needs something and they are the only one that can get it b/c she can't for herself. This is going to be very difficult for me as I am so independent....but we're going to try. Not to be needy cuz that's just unnecessary, but allowing guys to do for me. Cuz in reality I do need it. I'm more than capable of providing for myself - but it feels so much better to have my man watching out for me and taking care of me. (It's this that I found with the "distraction" that I am missing. He was really good at it. and I miss it.)

2 - Boys like the b****. I think it's true. They like a girl to be a little bossy. - NOW - I don't mean a real b()&*& - I just mean a little assertive. They like the sweet take care of me side too - of course - but they need a little of the bossy - you know the "mom" if you will.


I have more theories but this is too long....so we'll wait.....

NOTE!! In my theories - these are NOT extremes - these are aspects that balance each other out.

All of my theories are aspects of my personality....but I try not to show them or be them for various reasons that will come out in the blog.....I am saying this b/c I believe STRONGLY in being HONEST!! I learned the hard way that it is not wise to "be" something for someone that you are not actually. Even if it is a part - they still need to see the whole. So I just need to find and show these aspects of my personality and find the balance that keeps the boy. Well that's the theory. I AM NOT CHANGING MY PERSONALITY!! Please don't get nervous....I will still be me. I think all of this will become more clear as I start getting specific. And if I try something out and realize I just don't like it and it's not really me....then I'll have learned something!! :)

To try out my theories, I am going to observe the men that have been in my life recently and how they are in their new relationships....how the girls are....and how we were. Also, I am going to find someone new and test out what I've learned. EVERY man is different as is every female....so these are all generalities....but I am finding that there are some threads that are common. And also there's my grand theory - which I will save for much later.....so we'll see if this proves my wrong. :)

I will report back on how things are going on my blog. I hope to get some input from peeps b/c clearly I am not very talented in the relationship department. :)

First item of business - Find a boy!! This should be entertaining. LOL Tonight is trivia. I will start looking tonight and tell you what I find. :)

P.S. Please resist the temptation to pre-judge. I am sure all of you have concerns, advice, complaints and fears about what I'm proposing....but remember - I am NOT an idiot. I am going into this with an open mind and I would like to keep it that way. Let's just see what happens shall we....And comment as we go. :)