I'm Back from Hibernation.....and no that's not a club in Hollywood

So I'm back to blogging. :)
I got caught up with life. A lot of highs and lows and I was able to make up all kind of excuses. :)

This blog isn't going to be very long. I'm very tired and a little worn out.

Here's my latest puzzle.....Why do guys think I'm trying to date them? Here I am trying to be a good friend, just hang out, spend time together no big. They do not desire this. For some reason they can hang out with every other girl on the planet, except me. For some reason I terrify them. Like they're afraid I'm going to have the awkward conversation of "I really like you." I mean really?? Can't they see I'm way to prideful for that?? haha -- but seriously I just want to be friends. Even if I'm attracted to someone, I want to get to know them first. And if the attraction is not reciprocated, I'm completely fine with that. I am more than capable of being a good friend to someone that I am interested in. Hello isn't that how it's supposed to be. I would never want anyone to be with me and not be brilliantly happy. If we can't make each other happy we shouldn't be together.

So here's my puzzle. Why can't boys be friends with me when they can be with other girls?
Now let me say here it's not like I don't have friends that I love and cherish. Of course I do. It's just, there's the part of me that says - who needs them, my life is full. But then there's the part of me that goes - wait a sec what's wrong with me?

I had this extra ticket for this really hot party in Los Angeles. 3 top DJ's, VIP tickets, Open bar, hors, d'oeuvres, great dancing, lots of beautiful people.  I couldn't find a guy to take me. I'm not kidding. Some were actually busy / working / not in town. Others I just kinda got the feeling that they were reading too much into it. Here I am thinking --this is a huge party. People really want these tickets and you don't want to go? what, with me? I'm cute, I'm fun, it's free, what's the problem??

This time I have no answers or theories. Well actually I do....but I think I just have them because they make me feel better. lol.

The end of the story.....I invited a dear girl friend and we had a blast!! But sometimes I just want a boy on my arm. Just a change of pace and energy. You know how it is.

Anyway, I've thought a lot about this. I don't see a reason to change anything....not just yet. If I learn that there's something I'm doing that is making these guys friends feel uncomfortable or awkward, then maybe I would consider altering my behavior. But if it's just them.....well that's on them. Not that that helps, cuz it doesn't. Regardless, I'm still frustrated. And that's what I've got to come to peace with. Tomorrow....I search for that peace.