I'm Usually Such a Great Flirt

My heart is racing, my blood is warming as I'm staring into the beautiful, sparkly eyes of the boy with the charming smile that turns me to butter. I'm admiring how he radiates and his sweet thoughtfulness makes him even more beautiful. I'm completely smitten. He makes a joke and smiles, there's a twinkle in his eyes I am now puddy and thinking, my heavens he's got to be the sexiest being alive. 

He then says "Do you see anyone in the party that you think is good looking?" My response: "uh....uh...."

I used to be so witty and quick and an expert flirt. Well for that matter, I still am if I do say so myself. Even that night with someone else, I had the perfect response. But why is it when I get with in 5 feet of this certain person my brain ceases functioning. Strike that - it functions....AGAINST ME!! lol

Obviously it is because with this one, there are actual feelings. With him, if I'm rejected it will actually hurt. Normally I'm like oh....ok....next crush. But with him.....well....
But in theory it shouldn't matter. It's not like I haven't had my heart broken before - and by someone I'm actually dating not just crushing on. In theory I should nip it in the bud, get it over with and find out if he's interested.
So.......I've been practicing my flirting. LOL yes you heard me correctly. I have been practicing the "looking up through the lashes" clever responses to scenarios, not inviting the entire room when he suggests that we do something. (Yes, I did that. I know I know. I told you before that my brain works against me.)

So I would love any opinions, stories, or what nots of similar situations you have been in. PLEASE any advice is greatly appreciated. Surely I can't be the only one that's ever been here.

In fact....I was just speaking to one of my new favorite couples in the world. They were sharing their story of how they met, dated, and got engaged and how many times they stepped in their own way. I figure if they can do it and get threw it, surely I can....right? One thing I've learned from them is that there is no formula for this thing called love and dating. There's no "if he does this it means - " or "if you do this - , he'll think that - "
Honestly, this is most comforting to me!! It is....b/c then even though I've messed up twice and completely made it seem like I just want to be friends....there's still time!! And even though I really don't believe for a second that he's interested - there's a little part of me that's filled with hope!!

Here's the thing....I don't need a ring, or even a relationship. I'm the slowest of movers when it comes to this.  And I can be super patient. I know he's got some stuff going on and what not. I am super empathetic. Let's just see if I can get a little flirting returned and maybe a date. :)

I know we talked about this last time....whether or not I should ask the boy out. Well.....I've gotten mixed responses and frankly I don't know if my mouth can form the words. haha So we're gonna back up a sec and I'm going to try to just flirt a little....you know, what I'm good at. Then maybe I can gauge his reaction and see if there's something there.

So.....here's the plan.....I'm going to continue practicing my flirting. I'm still going to remember that we are friends first and foremost and understand that I will recover if he's not on board....I always do....this is not my first time to the rodeo. I am going to do a simple make up that really pops my eyes and a pouty lip (I never said I was going to play fair)....dab on my liquid love (again with the fair hehe), then I'm going to give myself a pep talk just before I go to hang out. And last - I'm going to let it all go and just be me. And pray my brain decides to come too!!